Murder in the Library Audition Sides & Virtual Form

Virtual submissions are invited for Murder in the Library!

Check out our Production Information post for more information about this production!

Video Auditions

Please select 1-2 audition monologues to record yourself performing in a video. After, please take some time improvising in character from the script. Your prompt is "shmooze the crowd" (get more followers, voters, readers, information, etc).

Submit your videos and audition information here by Tuesday June 11 at 7pm. (Updated due date)

Olive Reeding

OLIVE REEDING – LIBRARIAN 

          Hello! I’m Olive Reeding, head librarian and your host tonight at tonight’s booksigning. I want to welcome all you true crime addicts who are here to honor our own famous mystery writer, Agatha Mystry.

          We’re fortunate to have Agatha here tonight, what with her busy schedule, scrolling through Facebook and sharing all those videos and pictures. She only agreed to come tonight because no one would come over to Netflix and chill. She’s here to say some words and sign a few copies of her over-priced new book, DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL.

          We at the library have always been proud to carry Agatha Mystry mysteries. But we also have a number of other titles for the less morbid-minded among us.

Simon Schuster

SIMON SCHUSTER – PUBLISHER     

          Without further ado! I’m SIMON SCHUSTER, the publisher of IMPLAUSIBLE MYSTERIES, Inc., and Ms. Mystry’s publisher since 2003. Ms. Mystry has taken time out of her busy schedule to appear here out of the goodness of her heart – and because the speaker’s fee will pay for her insurance premiums. Although Agatha had no formal schooling, preferring to gain her education by working for the circus, she has become the foremost mystery writer among the boomers of BookTok ages 52 to 53. Since the sale of her first book, KILLED TO DEATH, she has sold more books than Jessica Fletcher and Richard Castle put together. Her latest mystery, DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL, is about to become a Hallmark Holiday Special, a music video starring Taylor Swift, and a Pepsi commercial.

Barney A. Noble

BARNEY A NOBLE – BOOKSELLER 

          Allow me to introduce myself. I am Barney A. Noble, the owner of BOOKS WITHOUT BINDINGS, Burke’s combination bookstore and coffee shop. We’re located in Burke Mall, right between ‘Bigbucks Coffee’ and ‘Spears.’

          I’ve known Miss Aggy here for 8 years – ever since we met on the Jerry Springer show during one of her book tours. I was immediately attracted to her style, her mood, her dialogue, and her income, and we soon became passionate acquaintances. Although I usually become nauseated after reading her murder mysteries because of her graphic sex scenes and food fights, I made it through her non-fiction self-help how-to book, THE MORGUE: A GREAT PLACE TO MEET A BODY, without needing any medication.

Paige Turner

PAIGE TURNER – Book Critic

          I’m Paige Turner, book critic for the ‘National Enquirer’ and ‘The Onion.’ Although I haven’t always given Ms. Mystry the best reviews, I’ve certainly respected her ability to recycle plotlines, her unique spelling choices, and her astounding speed at turning out a complete book in less time than it takes to read ‘Goodnight Moon.’

          My review of her most popular book, BLOOD ALL OVER EVERYTHING, got me a Pulitzer Prize, and believe me, I needed the money from that award to help pay off those ridiculous slander cases. I have Agatha to thank for keeping the IRS off my back.

Madyssen Mae

MADYSSEN MAE – REALITY TV STAR 

          Oh, pardon me, everyone, but I actually just can’t keep quiet another minute. I’m Madyssen Mae, you might know me from my TikTok @MadyMe and my reality tv cameos.

But if it weren’t for this genius mystery writer, I wouldn’t have the starring role of ‘Nancy Drew, Valley-Girl Detective,’ in the upcoming Hallmark movie based on Agatha’s new book, DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL. I haven’t actually read the book yet, but Aydyn, my 4th husband, said it’s got all the elements of a blockbuster – large print, bad words, and lots of white space. There’s even some gratuitous sex, gratuitous violence, and a gratuitous plot.

          And the ending! When the philandering dog walker finally gets her just desserts with that air fryer – well, I just can’t wait to try the bonus recipe included in the appendix.

The Representative

THE REPRESENTATIVE 

We all want to add a word of thanks Ms. Mystry, but no one more than I, your Representative, future President of the World…I mean, the United States, and former mayor of this fine town of Barkey, and things like that.

          Although I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Mystry until now, and haven’t had a chance to read any of her fine literature, I join my constituents in being thrilled at this opportunity to honor both Agatha and our wonderful library, killing two birds with one stone, and things like that.

          We’re all grateful for the support we’re getting here tonight and hope that you’ll all ban, er … buy more books, which is a great way to practice reading, and come to the libarry often, which is a great place to take a nap, and things like that.

Agatha Mystry

AGATHA MYSTRY – MYSTERY WRITER

Yes, thank you for this lovely award …uh, I haven’t got my glasses. Well, it’s so nicely printed and colorful. And I’m sure it says wonderful things about me

I’m…happy to be here tonight. It’s a nice break in the middle of my whirlwind publicity tour, which has been exhausting, but now I’m here in this precious little town of Centreville.

          I’m especially proud of my newest book, DEADER THAN A DOORNAIL, yes. Well, this one is very special to me because it deals with a subject I feel so strongly about – murder.

          So let’s drink a salute to my real employer – Murder in the First Degree!

Cliff Haygner

INSPECTOR CLIFF HAYGNER – CHIEF OF POLICE 

          All right, everyone, simmer down. I’m Inspector Cliff Haygner, Chief of Police here in Centreville, and I’m taking charge of this incident. My assistants have sealed off the building and I’m going to have to ask all of you to not leave the area until I’ve completed my investigation.

Hey, get those forensic people in here! And call the coroner. Although anyone can see from the color of her lips and the blue fingernails that Ms. Mystry has been poisoned. With what, I don’t know yet, so you folks relax and enjoy the party while I check out the crime scene. However, the Representative is right – you may want to skip the rest of the wine and switch to coffee.